


No Apple Pie Life

by bavarian_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Forehead Touching, Heaven, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, Soulmates, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/pseuds/bavarian_angel
Summary: Following Dean's journey after his last breath, we learn that not everything is what it seems.Did Sam really find hisnormallife?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 106





	No Apple Pie Life

_“I need you to promise me... I need you t-to tell me... that it’s o-okay... I need you to tell me that it’s okay... Look at me! I need you to tell me that it’s okay... You tell me it’s okay...”_

_“Dean... it’s okay. You can go now.”_

_“Goodbye, Sam... goodbye...”_

Sam had no idea how long he had been standing there, holding Dean in his arms, unable to let go. He could still feel his last breath on his face, long after he had run out of tears. In his mind, he still was unable to accept the fact that Dean was gone, that his big brother, the most important person in his life, was dead.

After long dreadful moments, fearing he would never be able to breathe again, Sam tightened his grip around Dean and lifted his body from the rebar that had caused the fatal injury. He had felt the tip of it, right under his hand on Dean’s chest in his brother’s final moments. Seeing it now, Sam had to fight the next wave of tears as he realized in what kind of agony Dean must have been and how much he had fought the pain to say his last words to Sam.

As carefully as possible, Sam lowered Dean’s body onto the ground, making sure he wouldn’t hurt him any further, leaving as much space to the dead vampires as possible. Biting his quivering lip, Sam lay his hand against Dean’s cheek before bending down and pressing a soft kiss on his brother’s forehead - on the same spot where they had touched, had felt each other one last time.

“I’ll be back as fast as possible. As soon as I got those boys to safety... And then I will take you home.”

“Oh Sammy...”

Dean watched the heartbreaking scene in front of him, wanting to reach out to console his baby brother, but he knew that he couldn’t. Unable to move himself, Dean followed Sam with his eyes as he left the barn, trying to find the boys who had fled the scene earlier.

“So this is the day, hmm?”

He knew that voice, but it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be her. However, as he turned around, there she was, leaning against the wall of the barn, looking at him with a bitter-sweet smile on her face.

“Tessa...? But how...?”

“Jack fixed a lot of things. Put them back into their natural order.”

Another familiar voice rang out to Dean as the dark figure stepped out of the shadows, his pale skin a stark contrast to his black suit.

“I killed you.”

“And yet here I am,” Death boasted, a sleazy grin on his face before looking over to Dean’s dead body lying on the floor near them, his expression growing more sombre. “You know that this was long overdue...”

“Oh, I know. And I’m ready now. Ready for the big punch line.” Dean squinted at Tessa, both of them remembering their conversation 14 years ago.

“But is _he_ really ready to let you go?” Tessa asked softly when they heard somebody approaching the barn.

They all looked up when Sam came through the door, hesitating for a moment as he once again looked at the scene in front of him.

“We will be back. Don’t do anything stupid in the meantime,” Death said, before he and Tessa disappeared.

Any sense of time was lost on Dean as he watched and followed Sam on his last journey home. He couldn’t count the times he wanted to reach out and pull him into his arms, wipe away those tears while Sam gingerly handled Dean’s body. After the long journey back to the bunker, Sam carried him downstairs, carefully laying him down on the table in the library. Running a hand through Dean’s short hair, it seemed as if he wanted to say something, but not a single word came over his lips. Instead he turned around, making his way to the bedrooms to gather some linen.

Miracle had welcomed Sam at the door before following him downstairs and it was like he knew something was off. When Sam disappeared to make preparations for Dean’s funeral, he lay down by Dean’s body for a moment before slowly trotting over to the armchair in the corner.

Dean looked down at him, wondering if it was coincidence or if the dog sensed his presence. A moment later Miracle sat down by his feet and after a long moment of hesitation, Dean reached out to him. His fingers found the warm and soft fur, Miracle letting out a short whine as if he could actually feel Dean’s touch.

“Yeah, I know, buddy. I know.”

~*~

It was by midday next day - the sun was shining and a soft breeze was going - when Sam stood in front of the pyre, his brother’s wrapped up body lying on top of it. With Miracle sitting next to him, he pulled out the lighter, hesitating for a short moment as he looked at it. Again, he wanted to say those words, but they only lingered in his mind when he finally lit the pyre.

_I love you, too..._

Watching the soaring flames, Dean noticed them coming up from behind. He didn’t even turn around, when he felt Tessa’s hand on his shoulder, just slowly closing his eyes.

“It’s time.”

~*~

_“Agent, you there?”_

_“Yeah, I’m here. I’m on my way.”_

Looking back down at the deserted bunker, Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the last time he would be in here. It would be the last time to turn out the lights. He turned around and didn’t look back, him and Miracle making their way to the Impala.

There were some werewolves to hunt.

~*~

There she was. The black paint glistening in the sun as Dean let his fingertips run over the side of the trunk. The familiar squeak welcomed him when he opened the door and found the place of eternal home.

“Hey, baby...”

The sound of her motor was like music in itself before Dean turned on the old cassette deck.

_Carry on my wayward son_

_There’ll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don’t you cry no more_

Now there was only one more thing missing for this being perfect. And until he would meet him again, the road would be Dean’s companion.

With the sun shinning down, the dirt dusting in the wind behind Baby and the music in his ears, Dean knew where to go. His heart seeking the destination while his mind wandered to another place and time...

_Seeing Sam finally having a normal life..._

_Seeing his baby brother having a kid of his own, naming him after his kick-ass uncle..._

_Seeing Sam teaching him how to throw and catch in the backyard..._

_Seeing both of them studying in the living room, in a house that looked so much like Bobby’s, that would always have a feeling of home..._

_Seeing Sam... and Baby... his baby brother old and grey (and the car in pristine condition or else Dean would kick his ass)..._

Time and road flew by, his mind still on that old man version of his brother, as Dean came upon a bridge over a wild river; Baby slowly coming to an halt.

Dean got out of the car and let the peaceful sound of nature wash over him. He walked over to the railing, looking out over the ever flowing river when he suddenly felt that open hole in his chest closing. Taking a deep breath, he knew he was whole again. He couldn’t hold back the smile any more and even before turning around, he knew what was waiting behind him.

“Hey, Sammy.”

And there he was. Like Dean remembered him, all too familiar clothing, a slightly unsure look on his face that was slowly replaced by a smile.

“Dean.”

They looked at each other, words went unsaid before Dean finally pulled Sam into a hug, feeling him here and now in his arms. The hug could have lasted a few seconds or an eternity, not like it mattered any more before they finally pulled back, yet not letting go of each other.

This time it was Dean who brought his forehead to Sam, carefully seeking this meaningful touch as both men let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Sammy, don’t...”

“I know I promised you to keep fighting, but I couldn’t do it, not without you. Because laying you to rest, I realized there was only ever one thing I really wanted, that I really needed in my life, and that is you.”

Opening his eyes, Dean looked into Sam’s, seeing all those emotions, but especially the fear that - once again - he let his brother down. Dean made sure that Sam couldn’t pull back from their touch.

“So, no apple pie?”

“No... werewolves...”

“It’s okay, Sammy. I promise you it’s okay.”

“Dean... I love you so much and-”

Before Sam got the chance to apologize once again, Dean closed the gap between them, pulling him in and silencing him with a soft kiss.

Because now it didn’t matter any more.

Because this was more than okay. They had eternity and they had each other.


End file.
